The Reason For My Burgeoning Toilet Paper Collection

  1. A bunch of teenagers are coming over later and I have a vendetta to settle with a house down the street. Also, can you point me in the direction of the eggs?
  2. I’m hosting a bridal shower and we’re doing the make a wedding dress out of TP activity. So fun!
  3. My toddler is constructing a giant fluffy castle and wants to add another turret.
  4. What? This isn’t used for insulation?
  5. My aunt with the iffy stomach is coming for the weekend.
  6. We keep playing the “Mommy is a mummy” game. It takes a lot more rolls than you’d think to completely encase such a small person as myself.
  7. I saw a mattress made of toilet paper on Pintrest and decided to try it. Like all Pintrest ideas, it seemed good at the time but now I’m halfway through the project and am regretting all of my life choices that have led to this.
  8. The adult version of the frat boy beer can collection is toilet paper; I’ve decided to proclaim my adulthood by showcasing my Charmin in all its glory to the neighbours on our bay window ledge. If this doesn’t make me block captain, I don’t know what will!
  9. The ball pit balls are missing and this seemed like a roll-y equivalent.
  10. I’ve actually hit that low point in the Fuel Up To Win Contest; I have no more food to buy because it’s just myself and my son at home right now and we were sick over the weekend, meaning that we didn’t eat much. So I’m buying toilet paper. Lots of TP. Twice a day. Judge me all you like; I’m having so much darn fun.

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