Before starting my blog I thought to myself, “I want a name that’s timeless”. It was important that my blog always be a reflection of who I am, so a name like GoingtoCubaWoohoo.wordpress.com wouldn’t cut it. Hence I sat for a very long time asking myself the question “What am I always?”
After much thought the answer came to me- unwashed. When I was younger my mother was a staunch environmentalist. Gradually the intensity of her green crusade decreased however the damage was done. After spending my formative years worrying about trash and ecosystems, I grew up to become a dirty hippie.
That being said, I am a closeted dirty hippie. I attend no rallies, I do not push my beliefs on others and my clothing is not made entirely of hemp. I merely take the bus and only shower once every two days. Unless you are my employer and you are reading this in which case I showered today. Twice.
All right, maybe the two day bathing routine is a stretch. On weekends and holidays it’s every soap bubble for themselves. The peak of my Unwashed era came right before I met Roscoe. I was working as a private lifeguard, A dirty, dirty job if there ever was one. Mornings were spent maintaining and cleaning the pool then in the afternoons and evenings I coated myself in sunscreen and sat sweating through my uniform. Arriving home I was a greasy, sticky mess. I quickly tired of the process of bathing only to become a goo coated disaster the next day.
My once every two days regime may have became a once a week ritual. My curly, curly hair after two days of not being washed formed dreadlocks, each successive unwashed day the matted curl-locks would work their way upwards. Before leaving the house my mother would frantically pat down what she deemed my “Who Hair”. Named for the upright spirals of hair found on the heads of extras in the Jim Carey remake of “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”. When I began dating Roscoe, my mother danced with joy because it guaranteed that I would make contact with shampoo and soap once every four or so days.
But “Unwashed” or “The Unwashed” was too simple. Eventually I came up with “The Great Unwashed” which I really liked because it is reminiscent of The Great Oz. Which was appropriate because The Great Oz was a tiny little man working behind the curtain of a big machine and I am the size of your average twelve year old, weaving tapestries of adventure out of day to day occurrences. Of course the “Great” added an element of grandeur which appealed to me as well.
The Great Unwashed is a sillier, exaggerated version of me. Most of the time, I am a (fairly) clean, late twenties professional. However occasionally at night and on the weekends I transform into a slightly grubby ragamuffin who runs amuck spouting stories of mundane events with a humourous twist.