About The Great Unwashed

Before starting my blog I thought to myself, “I want a name that’s timeless”. It was important that my blog always be a reflection of who I am, so a name like GoingtoCubaWoohoo.wordpress.com wouldn’t cut it. Hence I sat for a very long time asking myself the question “What am I always?”

After much thought the answer came to me- unwashed. When I was younger my mother was a staunch environmentalist. Gradually the intensity of her green crusade decreased however the damage was done. After spending my formative years worrying about trash and ecosystems, I grew up to become a dirty hippie.

That being said, I am a closeted dirty hippie. I attend no rallies, I do not push my beliefs on others and my clothing is not made entirely of hemp. I merely take the bus and only shower once every two days. Unless you are my employer and you are reading this in which case I showered today. Twice.

All right, maybe the two day bathing routine is a stretch. On weekends and holidays it’s every soap bubble for themselves. The peak of my Unwashed era came right before I met Roscoe. I was working as a private lifeguard, A dirty, dirty job if there ever was one. Mornings were spent maintaining and cleaning the pool then in the afternoons and evenings I coated myself in sunscreen and sat sweating through my uniform. Arriving home I was a greasy, sticky mess. I quickly tired of the process of bathing only to become a goo coated disaster the next day.

My once every two days regime may have became a once a week ritual. My curly, curly hair after two days of not being washed formed dreadlocks, each successive unwashed day the matted curl-locks would work their way upwards. Before leaving the house my mother would frantically pat down what she deemed my “Who Hair”. Named for the upright spirals of hair found on the heads of extras in the Jim Carey remake of “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”. When I began dating Roscoe, my mother danced with joy because it guaranteed that I would make contact with shampoo and soap once every four or so days.

But “Unwashed” or “The Unwashed” was too simple. Eventually I came up with “The Great Unwashed” which I really liked because it is reminiscent of The Great Oz. Which was appropriate because The Great Oz was a tiny little man working behind the curtain of a big machine and I am the size of your average twelve year old, weaving tapestries of adventure out of day to day occurrences. Of course the “Great” added an element of grandeur which appealed to me as well.

The Great Unwashed is a sillier, exaggerated version of me. Most of the time, I am a (fairly) clean, late twenties professional. However occasionally at night and on the weekends I transform into a slightly grubby ragamuffin who runs amuck spouting stories of mundane events with a humourous twist.

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20 thoughts on “About The Great Unwashed

  1. Hey,
    I’m Ryan and I am a writer/editor/content manager for thefarmclub.net. I am tasked with building our hockey section and am looking to stock with entertaining, enthusiastic writers looking for a platform.

    I know this might seem like an odd post but I read your story about your trip to Buffalo to catch a Leafs/Sabres game. It was fantastically descriptive and entertaining. I felt like I was with you in the stands and I feel like our site could use a writer of your quality. I don’t know if you’re a hockey fan but if you are, I’d love for you to come write about the Leafs for us at The Farm Club.

    If you’re interested, give me a shout back (rwomeldorf@thefarmclub.net or @RWTFC on twitter) and we can discuss details.

    Thanks,
    Ryan
    http://www.thefarmclub.net

  2. After reading the questions you posed to RossMurray, I had to check out your blog. Because anyone who can come up with questions like that is my kind of weirdo.

    • I would hope the it DoEsN’T reAD like a bumpy road. That would be awkward.

      Tragically my family did not love how my blog name came to be. There is still a dirt shaped imprint the size of my body in the sheets at my parents’ house that won’t ever come out no matter how many times they are washed.

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  7. It feels cheesy wandering around passing out gold stickers, but you deserve one, so just close your eyes and let me stick it on your back and then we never have to talk of this again. #championsawards

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