An Ice Cream Cone Boob Shaped Valentine

Sorry, that title was really awkward. Almost as awkward as the set of knockers that rode around on the city buses for over two years. If bus signs can be 3-D and interactive, these totally were. The advertisement itself was for a radio station and the star sporting the rack in question was Katie Perry whose marketing people must have decided that if the Coneheads were successful than why not slap two giant pointy shapes on the popstar? Mind you they looked pretty wonky on her head so they strapped them to her chest then took a photo.

The end result (Photo Credit:

The end result (Photo Credit:

To Katy Perry,

Happy Valentine’s Day. No offense but I’m glad that we’re not friends, because you’d be the super hot girl and I’d be the dumpy wingman. Only exchange “super hot girl” for “person with the best costume” and “dumpy wingman” for “kid who didn’t wash his face for a week and went out calling himself a hobo”.

Katy, I picture your life as being a perpetual Halloween. On day you’re dressed all in lollipops, the next your hair is green, the day after you’re covered in sequins. Like the chubby sidekick, I just can’t keep up, I mean like any good weirdo, I have a couple of wigs in the closet but after a couple of days any rapid, different hair colour is coming out of a bottle. And that’s just too much work. Also sequins look a little weird after thirty.

That being said, I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day and dress up as a candy box or possibly climb into one. I feel like that might float your boat too.

From : The Great Unwashed

P.S. My mom likes your song “Teenage Dream”, for whatever reason this creeps me out. It’s one thing to suspect your parents were wild partyers. It’s another thing to catch them jamming to music and all but reliving the ruckus days of their youth. This may explain why my mother never enforced my curfew.