It’s recently come to light that the self proclaimed family man and straight edge cowboy was in possession of a bag of herbs at an airport. Witnesses say that he arrived for a flight in a calm almost tranquil state, a fact that was later explained by the hefty bag of green stuff that he removed from his suitcase before heading through security. A bystander reported that he removed the bag nonchalantly from his luggage and took a photo, as though it wasn’t a violation- where does he think this is? Amsterdam?”

“Teee–eex, You don’t have to put on the red light”

A confidant of Tex’s was flabbergasted by the news; “I bet that weird hippie wife of his is behind it- you never know what they’re up to”.

Well my Unwashed public, it totally was me, You see, it was MY bag that Tex was using at the airport. And it was only by chance that he opened up the from pocket when he arrived, before venturing through security, at which point he found this.

Honey, I swear I’ll bail you out.

He then texted me asking whether he had wronged me and next time could we find a way of expressing my anger that didn’t end in cavity searches for him.

For the record, it’s ACTUALLY  oregano. A couple of months beforehand we had stayed at friends house and I had brought ingredients to make a dish with us, most of the edibles got consumed, but some apparently got packed up and squirrelled away in bizarre spots. My husband calmly walked back to the car and safely stowed my spices in the console, then went to meet his flight. But it could have been a headliner of a family story.