What’s In My Bag?

Celebrities are always upending their totes and clutches to share with the world the all-important items they can’t live without: La Montagne cream made from the buttocks of Himalayan llamas to give their skin that bouncy, mountain-kissed glow; photosynthesizing wipes because using pure chlorophyll to wash your hands is the greenest alternative of all and of course drugstore sunglasses to make them seem down to earth. Being that I am a big time blogger known the next street over (Hi Mrs. Kasnicki!), I decided it was high time I share what’s in my bag.

A plain metal credit card case – At one point a decade ago it had metal designs on it, those got rubbed/chipped off. Just as well- who can commit to a design they liked ten years ago?

A blobby keychain that measures the UV index – These come free with every order of my UV shirts although it’s always sunburn o’clock for me. Other non vampires might find this gadget useful but they’re probably not the ones ordering UV protective clothing.

Reusable diapers – Being a card carrying hippie, this is my billboard to the world that I believe in saving the environment by handling my son’s waste as much is humanly possible while making sure his butt is GIANT. Others may toss their offspring’s urine into the trash with disposable diapers, but I carry it around with me so the pee can ferment in my bag until I remember to throw it in the wash two weeks later. This is how much I love trees.

Something brown, gooey and squishy – Oh good grief, it smells too! I’m fairly sure this was my son’s snack at one point, regardless; it’s going in the compost.

Huggies diaper wipes – There are reusable wipes at home, but packing the spray bottle to wet them seems a bit much.

110 SPF sunscreen – Tex hides tubes of this stuff everywhere like he’s the Easter bunny of skin protection. He knows the only thing worse than a grumpy wife is a sunburned one.

Tiny nail clippers – Newborns and babies look so defenseless until they sink their ten miniatures daggers into the fleshy part of your neck. Supposedly daily trimming prevents this carnage. That hasn’t been my experience though.

A lone red silicone muffin cup – Because sometimes I like to bake on the go. In small batches. No, actually it’s Mini-Tex’s favourite toy. Who knew bake ware could be so versatile? It goes from being a hat to a Frisbee to a teether in under a minute.

Aside from the crumbs of a thousand smushed baby crackers, that’s everything in my bag. What can’t you live without?

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13 thoughts on “What’s In My Bag?

  1. Tissues! I am tissue lady! Whenever I go through a bag – I rarely use them so when I do it’s best to check! – there are always disintegrating tissues in all the pockets. I was a mum before the advent of wipes, so always had tissues up my sleeve, in my pockets and in my bag and I can’t seem to get out of the habit 😄

  2. When you were young I had cheerios spilling from almost everywhere. Instead of brown goo they form titanium like missiles.

  3. Okay, what is in my bag:
    Plastic cards: credit cards, id, a useless debit card (because I’m Canadian in the USA), firearm license (another useless item, being in the USA) and they are all floating and not in anything. It’s obviously super efficient to find the right plastic card.
    Receipts: Always….so many receipts…. and no cash, what could I possibly have purchased? And why do I need to keep the silly papers when I couldn’t find a specific one if I tried? Must be for identity protection, they aren’t safe in the garbage.
    Chapsticks: three of them; one tinted, one medicated for those dry days and one that tastes good in case I need to be ‘kiss ready’.-to hide coffee breath
    A pencil to write notes on the receipts when I cannot forgot something. Lame.
    I’m definitely considering the chlorophyll wipes though.

    • They lengthen your life and strengthen your knee caps. One’s patella can never be strong enough in my experience. Slap receipts are useful when you’re at a wedding and missed the confetti distribution.

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