You are invited to attend the wild rumpus which celebrates the wedding of Unwashed and Tex, who were married on August 10th 2015 on Lightninghill despite the curse and the First Nations people’s refusal to visit said place. A GIANT storm occurred right after the ceremony so it’s possible everyone invited will be hexed for rejoicing about the aforementioned union.
The celebration will be held at the Legion Hall in Backwater Boomtown on Saturday September 5th 2015. The dress code is casual to naked as indicated by the front of this card. Cocktails 5pm, dinner 6:30, possible thunderstorm to follow. Please leave large metal sticks, umbrellas and over-sized antennas at home.
RSVP email@example.com or by carrier pigeon.
Much warmth and a potential old voodoo spell,
The Great Unwashed
For the record, had I known about the superstition surrounding Lightninghill, I might not have been so eager to get married there. As it was, Tex’s brother decided to tell everyone AFTER the ceremony that we might be cursed. That night, I sat ramrod straight in bed while the most violent thunderstorm I have ever experience all but rocked the farm house off its foundation. Tex had left the room to close the basement windows so I was left all alone to clutch my knees and apologize to whatever force it was that I had angered for getting married on Lightninghill while being convinced that I was going to die by a random outpouring of electrons finding the quickest path to earth.
My sister-in-law kindly pointed out that being the tallest place in the area, historically it likely incurred the most lightning strikes, (thus the name) and it takes only a couple of dead people to start a rumour.