This was an actual conversation that occurred between me and Tex
Tex – “Unwashed, I’m packing for the wedding, which gun do you want out of the gun cabinet to come to the farm?”
The Great Unwashed – “I don’t want the guns out of the cabinet here, I want the little gun.”
Tex – “You mean the hand gun?”
The Great Unwashed – “No not the hand gun, the little gun at the farm!”
Tex – “I thought you wanted a shot gun. Let’s bring the shot gun.”
The Great Unwashed – “My family is going to cack their pants because there will be a gun at the wedding as it is, you CANNOT bring your shot gun. We are using the old gun that’s at the farm, it will look good in pictures.”
Tex – “Well if we’re going to use a farm gun can’t we use the lever action Winchester .30-30? It’s old, it’s the style of gun John Wayne would have used.”
The Great Unwashed – “No! We’re using the older gun that sometimes misfires**.” Stops mid thought. “Can we continue this conversation when I’m not on the phone please?” In a lower voice into the receiver. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.”
Luckily this interaction occurred while I was on the phone with Sula, who had just returned from three months of riding across the Arctic on an ATV with a rifle strapped to her back and using a toilet that was made by blasting a hole through the bottom of a chair. Hence a discussion of which firearm to bring to Tex’s and my wedding didn’t seem outrageous.
*For the record we don’t have wedding colours, and the John Wayne theme was an unintentional one. I swear Tex always wears a cowboy hat and boots while at home, the bolo is new though.
**The idea of having a gun that misfires at a celebration of love sounds terrifying however this ancient boomstick is the only one in Tex’s collection that I consistently remember how to verify that it ISN’T loaded. Knowing how to check if a firearm is loaded is a vital part of gun safety. Seeing as I have not yet mastered other parts of gun safety, like keeping my eyes open while I shoot, I like to hold tight to my successes in that area.
Also being over one hundred years old, I’m hoping I can pass off the antique gun as a movie prop to my city slicker family. I probably shouldn’t have posted that last sentence. Have I mentioned I’m an atrocious secret keeper?