After I wrote “Facebook thinks I’m Fat and Lonely” because of the number of dating websites and weight loss ads that were appearing on my feed, Tex and I created the following comment thread.
Tex on February 11, 2015 at 11:40 AM said:
Does this mean we need to post those nauseating couple Facebook profile pictures? Where we’re holding hands in a wheat field? Or maybe holding guns? Dead raccoons? I’m not very good at this.
The Great Unwashedon February 11, 2015 at 2:40 PM said:
Please can we make holding dead raccoons a regular part of our date nights?
Tex on February 11, 2015 at 3:16 PM said:
The novelty might wear off. Maybe we could wear dead raccoons instead. Or turn it into a game. Raccoon Toss!
“Step right up, step right up. Throw a coon, win a prize.”
I didn’t continue the thread because tonight’s Valentine is my reply.
To : Tex
I love you. You are the only one I want to chuck deceased rodents with. Games never get old with you, and if they did, we could switch to lobbing ungulates.
From : The Great Unwashed
Oddly enough, I’m certain Tex is going to love this. We’re a match made in flying, dead raccoon heaven.
The Great Unwashed 
Wow, this is the nicest Valentine I have ever received. I’m so proud of you. I never realized it would be so soon, but…you might actually be ready…for the old and most respectable sport of Abrupt Bovine Repositioning. I love you, Unwashed. To many more projectile rodents and unsuspecting ungulates. Happy Valentines Day.
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