Romance Should Not Equal Dead Raccoons, But In This Case It Does

After I wrote “Facebook thinks I’m Fat and Lonely” because of the number of dating websites and weight loss ads that were appearing on my feed, Tex and I created the following comment thread.

Tex on February 11, 2015 at 11:40 AM said:

Does this mean we need to post those nauseating couple Facebook profile pictures? Where we’re holding hands in a wheat field? Or maybe holding guns? Dead raccoons? I’m not very good at this.

The Great Unwashedon February 11, 2015 at 2:40 PM said:

Please can we make holding dead raccoons a regular part of our date nights?

Tex on February 11, 2015 at 3:16 PM said:

The novelty might wear off. Maybe we could wear dead raccoons instead. Or turn it into a game. Raccoon Toss!

“Step right up, step right up. Throw a coon, win a prize.”

I didn’t continue the thread because tonight’s Valentine is my reply.

To : Tex

I love you. You are the only one I want to chuck deceased rodents with. Games never get old with you, and if they did, we could switch to lobbing ungulates.

From : The Great Unwashed

Oddly enough, I’m certain Tex is going to love this. We’re a match made in flying, dead raccoon heaven.

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2 thoughts on “Romance Should Not Equal Dead Raccoons, But In This Case It Does

  1. Wow, this is the nicest Valentine I have ever received. I’m so proud of you. I never realized it would be so soon, but…you might actually be ready…for the old and most respectable sport of Abrupt Bovine Repositioning. I love you, Unwashed. To many more projectile rodents and unsuspecting ungulates. Happy Valentines Day.

  2. Pingback: An Unwashed Pregnancy: Tex’s Perspective | The Great Unwashed

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