A Use For Small Talk Part Two: The Stalker Edition

A while ago, my mother gave me the number for her friend who is a contractor. Or at least she gave me a collection of numbers that if ordered properly would have been the contractor’s phone number. What followed was an awkward conversation with a stranger in which I talked about my desire to raise frogs in the rapidly growing puddle in my basement.

Because it’s not enough to randomly harass strangers with wrong number phone calls, I sent him the following texts after I wrote the post.

The Great Unwashed to Random Understanding Guy: Hi, I randomly called you earlier this week?

Random and Understanding Guy Who Isn’t A Contractor : Silence

The Great Unwashed : There shouldn’t have been a question mark there, I am certain that I called you; however I wasn’t sure whether you remembered me.

Random Guy : Still no texts

The Great Unwashed : Anyway I’m Unwashed. Online I’m known as The Great Unwashed.

Understanding Guy : No texts. Is obviously digesting the fact that I’m great because I imagine he thought I was the Crazy Unwashed.

The Great Unwashed : I just thought you should know you’re famous.

Wrong Number Guy : Crickets

The Great Unwashed : Well not famous like Kim Kardashian famous, more like, my friends and family including my great aunts know about you famous.

Random Guy : The silence continues. Probably I should have held off a while before introducing my family to a wrong number .

The Great Unwashed:  I featured you on my blog. Ok, not so much you as our conversation. Thanks for being so helpful by the way.

And because that wasn’t a long enough series of answered text messages, I sent this one off too.

The Great Unwashed : Oh! I almost forgot the link!  https://iamthegreatunwashed.com/2014/06/27/a-use-for-small-talk/

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