The Great Unwashed disappeared early last week. Recent sightings have placed her in Toronto and there is some discussion of the Antarctic although most of that is believed to be heresy. The reporters encountered a tall woman with a large dog when a further trip to The Great Unwashed’s residence was made. The woman in question gave the following statement;
“Is there a reason you’re reporting on the whereabouts of a little known, humour blogger? Kim Kardashian must have done something interesting this week, shouldn’t there be an article about that? I mean, I like The Great Unwashed and all and certainly my giant Doberman likes her but we probably wouldn’t go looking for her if she randomly disappeared.”
The reporters were then handed three pies and a carton of madeleines.
Once again The Great Unwashed’s cousin Candy, of the stripper nom de plume, offered a statement “You really need to stop looking for her, After a couple of days away from home she bites. At the very least wear a wrist guard.”
The Great Unwashed’s best friend could not be reached, or rather the call offered little information. The following is a transcript of the call made to the satellite phone where Lisa of Northofthegrid.com can be reached.
The Press trying to shout over the static- “Do you have any information about the Great Unwashed?”
Lisa from Northofthegrid.com– “No I don’t like Chris Bosch. Hold on, I’m going to have to shoot a polar bear that’s entered our camp.” (Sounds of a scuffle and an explosion. The call is cut off.)
Further attempts to contact Lisa were unsuccessful. Although The Great Unwashed’s whereabouts is unimportant to the general public and every visit to her house has turned up nothing, it’s likely the reporters will return to report on the location of this random, obscure writer. The madeleines were light and sumptuous.