Normal Person Logic “My friend Dave is a chartered accountant. I wonder if he will do my taxes?”

Unwashed Logic “My friend Sula is a taxidermist. I wonder if she’ll cut my hair.”

The Great Unwashed– “Hey, sorry to call out of the blue like this, I have a favor to ask you.”

Sula *- “Of course. Anything.”

The Great Unwashed – “Will you cut my hair?”

Sula thrown off guard says a wobbly “Ok?”

The hair trimming experience went about as well for Sula as you might have expected. Sula is one of those women who takes pride in her appearance, thus she was a ball of anxiety wielding scissors about my head. By contrast as long as I have an appearance I’m good to go. Consequently while Sula painstakingly cut my curls with herb shears, (the kitchen scissors were deemed too large)  I was as happy as a clam because I had avoided making small talk with the stylist who was filling in for my regular hair dresser who was on vacation.

Just an FYI I’m going to need sanctuary when Sula finds out that I made her cut my hair just to avoid talking to a stranger about the weather. She might be peeved because I may have skipped over that part and forced her to trim my locks for “safety reasons related to my work”.

However I will say Sula had a sense of humour about the whole thing, because here is a transcript from one of our most recent phone calls.

The Great Unwashed– “Can I ask you a favour?”

Sula– “I’m going to need more information. You’re not going to ask me to cut your hair again are you?”

*Names have been changed to protect the identities of those who could have said “No” and forced me to talk about cumulonimbus cloud formations with a stranger for almost an hour.