New Year’s Eve Senior’s Home Style

So I realized that I didn’t acknowledge the New Year. This is because

A)     I am bad with dates, this includes major holidays and often results in me driving up to the mall for the first time in months and being confused as to why it’s closed.

B)      I routinely go to bed at 8 PM.

Well not really, sometimes I go to bed at nine, occasionally I’ll go really wild and stay up until ten but that means that I start doing French Stewart impressions and bumping into walls with my eyes half closed.

This is as wide as my eyes will open after about 8:23 PM. (Photo Credit :

This is as wide as my eyes will open after about 8:23 PM. (Photo Credit :

So December 31st found me and Roscoe sitting on the couch at 8:30 realizing that I was not going to make it to midnight. Roscoe had worked an eleven hour day in the middle of what’s looking to be a hundred hour week for him and so he wasn’t keen on partying or going out. He suggested that I go to bed for three hours and that he would wake me up at eleven thirty. This would leave me with enough time to wake up, set up the lap top with a countdown and drink part of an alcoholic beverage with him before midnight.

I argued that it was likely that I would chew his face off in a convincing impersonation of a honey badger when he woke me up at eleven thirty. Roscoe agreed that this was a likely outcome but that he would persist in trying to rouse me from the bed so we could celebrate New Year’s together.

English: Holly Madison at L.A. Direct Magazine...

Luckily my truck seats five because her breasts alone took up an entire seat. Vadim had to squish in next to me to fight the undead.(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fast forward to January 1st, I wake up very happy despite having horrible nightmares where I’ve been forced to pack my aging truck full of B list celebrities and drive around trying to save the world before a zombie attack. After I realized that Holly Madison and Vadim Dale were no longer crouching behind me as I drove through massive pot holes, it dawned on me that I had not been woken up during the night. I decided to shake Roscoe awake to confirm this.

At ten forty five Roscoe had apparently decided that New Year’s Eve was not as important as getting a good night’s rest for the next day’s grueling ten hour shift and gone to bed.

That was New Year’s for me. Being that I spent the night driving away from a fictional, impending zombie apocalypse of my own creation, that was enough excitement for me.

4 thoughts on “New Year’s Eve Senior’s Home Style

  1. Funny! I don’t really see the big deal of New Years? So in my humble and unsolicited opinion you didn’t miss much. Now if it was the zombie apocalypse that would definitely be worthy of a wake up call. But I’m sure that goes without saying.

    • Anything that requires that I stay up past my bed time is obviously not a big deal. If it was, it would be at a more reasonable time of day.

      I’m not sure whether I’d rater sleep through zombies or be woken up. I’m a very poor fighter.

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