Abuse Of Innocent Young People In The Name Of Blogging Glory

So blogging regularly about things that I thought were important like homeless arsonists and my Grandpa’s underpants weren’t really working for me in terms of getting followers and people to read my blog. I decided to take matter into my own hands.

While returning home the other night on a bus packed full of students I sat down next to a girl with her iPhone out.

“Hey have you heard of Unwashed_Tweets?” I asked her upon seeing that she had Twitter pulled up on her handheld computer. “No” she answered in the way that everyone outside of those related to me do.

“Well it’s awesome and super funny. You should really follow it.”

She dutifully pulled my twitter feed up on her screen, then scrolled through my tweets unimpressed.

“I’m much funnier in long form.” I said by way of explanation.

This unfortunate soul was stuck on the inside seat and for ten minutes I told her how wonderful and humourous The Great Unwashed was. However in return I had to listen to ten minutes of how awesome Pintrest is.  Apparently on Pintrest you can learn how to make daffodil cakes and it lists eighteen different ways to use a tea cosy.

After all of that and repeating at length just how soul crushingly cool my website is the student still didn’t follow me. Where are all of the impressionable youth that everyone talks about?

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