My TV habits sometimes come up in conversation because for the most part I don’t watch any.

There are many reasons for this embargo on popular media. The primary being that the Netflix does not work for me. The internet and I have a standing agreement that I won’t complain when it is slow and in return the internet will work 98% of the time.

Unfortunately the Netflix and I have no such agreement. So here is how an Unwashed attempt at television watching goes.

The Great Unwashed sits down on the couch with the intent of consuming popular culture through the television.

The television turns on.

The Great Unwashed says “Hurray!” This doesn’t always happen, things like the vacuum cleaner bumping the television cord and unplugging it without The Great Unwashed noticing often impedes this step.

The Playstation turns on resulting in another “Hurray” from the Great Unwashed.

Next The Great Unwashed follows the series of steps outlined by Roscoe when he taught her how to use the Netflix.

The Netflix does not work.

It asks for things that The Great Unwashed doesn’t know like passwords or to update hard drives or whatever the Netflix runs on. Following a traumatizing kitchen renovation at her parent’s house The Great Unwashed refrains from updating anything, especially technology. As evidenced by her phone.

You wish your phone was this sexy and advanced. It even has T9 texting. (Photo Credit : dexigner.com)

The Great Unwashed turns the television and Playstation off and begins the Netflix process outlined by Roscoe again, only to be faced with the same screen. In an act of self preservation The Great Unwashed unplugs all of the electronics in the room just in case the lamp was colluding with the Playstation to prevent her from watching Extreme Couponing and heads outside for a walk because her shoelaces never tell her “Error Please Restart”.