Last night, while taking out the garbage I saw a strange sight. I often pause during this chore to appreciate our spectacular view into the frat boy’s parking lot next door. Now living in the student ghetto there are many things that I regularly see in this space; detritus from a party days before, people making out in cars, inebriated men playing basketball but never what I saw last night. Looking over into what is in essence the frat boy’s backyard I spied an honest to goodness little person. Even more surprising was that standing not three feet away from the little person was yet another little person. I was immediately concerned.
One of the blondes I often see next door was with the miniature people as well as a middle aged woman who looked equally out of place. Although I knew the blonde girl was kind, I doubted that she would be much help in this situation. Mostly because the girls next door are often too busy being young and drunk to assist anyone. I don’t judge, once upon a time I was eighteen and considered Mudslides the dairy component of a balanced breakfast too.
From my steps I shouted to the middle aged woman “Are you lost?”
The woman looked up as the two miniature people continued to toddle around the remains of last night’s game of beer pong. “Huh?” she said.
“Are you lost?” I repeated “This is the student ghetto, we don’t often see children here.”
The woman chuckled. “No, we’re OK, we’re just visiting”.
I proceeded to take out the garbage all the while wondering what a person does to amuse a child in a frat house. I suppose there’s the classic “Find the Bottle” where they scour the house for the empties. Or the children could make a small fort out of all the two-four boxes lying about. Of course for the studious child there’s always the joy of entomology and counting how many types of insects which call the frat house home. For whatever reason the family didn’t stay long. Perhaps the children had played one too many rounds of “Whose Lacy Underpants Are These?” and got tired.