So for the next week or so my posts will include a guest. Not because I’ve gone all professional and invited other authors to write on my blog but because my youngest cousin, Candy* is spending her March Break with me.
Now I’m not entirely sure why she’s coming to stay here for the majority of her March Break. Perhaps she pulled the short straw in the game of fun things in life, perhaps Juvie wouldn’t take her. For whatever reason she is coming to stay with me and Roscoe and boy am I happy.
We’re going to spend the week having all sorts of Unwashed adventures; she’s going to go grocery shopping with me, search for a bridesmaid’s dress with me, clean the house with me and shovel snow with me. It’s every teenager’s dream really. And just for kicks, I’ll bring my Unwashed followers along for the ride, so she can have proof of what a totally awesome break she had upon returning to school. “See this is my old, boring cousin’s blog. Here’s where she wrote about cleaning out the drains, that’s the story of organizing her closet. Now you show me your vacation pictures from Mexico!”
I’m terribly excited for this week.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of those who may have been forced by their youth and an empty house to spend time with me. Also I may be risking the wrath of both my grandmother and aunt by giving my dear cousin the fake name of many a stripper. At least I didn’t name her Glitter. I doubt this fact will keep me in my grandmother’s will. I did try about eight different names in lieu of said offensive name but none of them reflected her lovable, sweet nature as well as Candy. I thought it was best to go right to the literal.
What’s funnier is that her brother who I wrote to in a travesty Tuesday message is fake named Phillip Hooling. Together their fictional names are Phillip and Candy Hooling, which makes it look like they were once a respectable family when they had Phillip but then lost not only all of their money but all of their sense too just before they had Candy and now subsist on only “sketti” and slim jims.
For the record both cousins involved have actual respectable names and do not exist on only “sketti” and slim jims, their father is an excellent cook and a computer programmer. I’m lying about the computer programmer thing but it is something to do with computers. He has one of those jobs to do with technology that I couldn’t understand if my life depended on it. They also do not live in a trailer, or their car.
I thought the last sentence was important to add in. I’m so being kicked out of the will.