The following communication was sent to my very understanding father during what was a stressful year for me. I was in school with little hope of getting a job afterwards. I didn’t like the program I was taking so I frequently sent him emails along the lines of “I’m going to bite the heads off chickens this evening, please call before six.” This is one of those emails. I wish I could say that I was joking, but it’s unlikely. Invariably if you search my and Roscoe’s apartment you’ll find a sign with a picture of a bridge on it which says “Pee here!” and is dated March 11^th, 2010.

Sent: March 11, 2010 2:22 PM
To: Dad
Subject: I’m applying for unemployment

And then I’m taking up crack cocaine,
and once I’m finished with that I think I’ll begin a campaign to encourage public urination.

Be thankful you have means to remove yourself not only from my presence but the country where I’m residing.