It is raining. It is raining torrents. It is raining so hard that I can hear the water droplets hitting our house. I find this situation unfair for a number of reasons.
A) It is winter in Canada. It should be snowing because otherwise I look ridiculous when I wander around in my snow pants.
B) Rain causes my creative Chi to go AWOL.
This blog is my attempt at becoming a “real” writer. Prior to releasing the Great Unwashed I was a person who wrote in creative spurts. Such spurts were generally associated with sunlight. Roscoe keeps telling me that I need to write even when I’m not creative, consequently you, my Unwashed public are getting this post.
So because I can’t blog about funny things, I’m going to blog about the rain.
Reasons Why I Hate The Rain
- This is my second list in this post, apparently rain causes me to write in lists rather than paragraphs like a normal person. Thanks a lot rain, like I needed another thing to separate me from everyone else.
- It prohibits me from engaging in my second most beloved hobby- frat boy watching. We live next to a frathouse. A fratboy’s purpose in life is to; hang out, play basketball, drink and have parties, all of this occurs outside in their backyard. I don’t actually participate in any of this, I just like to pull out my sleigh chair, sit on our miniature deck and read while pretending that I’m young and hip by association. Fratboys don’t go out in the rain, they play videogames inside during inclement weather. I don’t actually know this for sure though, I misplaced my binoculars awhile back so it’s entirely possible that they have parties inside when it storms.*
- Bus tidal waves. Rain doesn’t keep me indoors but it does prevent me from enjoying the outdoors somewhat. I’m fortunate in that my city has a well developed transit system. This however means that when I’m running along small puddles become potential sites for bus tidal waves, i.e. the wall of dirty street water that rushes at you at high speed when a bus goes by. In my non matching hat, mittens and multicoloured socks running outfit, I feel like I become a target on wet days. An outlet for irritated bus drivers who are tired of dealing with rude students.
- And of course the last one. Rain = water. Water= bathing. And everyone knows I’m so not into that concept.
*I’m kidding about the binoculars. I’m not that weird. Also you don’t need binoculars where I live, students don’t own curtains. **
**See I added the addendum so I would seem less creepy for not owning binoculars, but then I added the curtain thing and now I’m seeming more creepy, even though I’m not. I feel like I’m digging myself into a perverted hole. In my defense students really don’t own curtains, they put up flags, bed sheets and the occasional towel. Unless of course they’re exhibitionists in which case they don’t put up anything at all.