You might have noticed that I’ve been here for a week already. That means you’re late. Really late.

I kid, I decided to write a weeks worth of posts and then invite the public in. However some people have been here from the start, mainly a person whose username is “movingon”. They’re my biggest fan. I like to pretend they’re my friend, and I call them by their first name “Anti-Diana” because not only do they read my blog, but they’ve liked a post even.

So why did I decide to do this? Well, you always see stores with “Grand Opening January 10^th” but it’s January 4^th and they appear to be open and so you go inside and wander around and they are actually open. But then you come back on January the 10^th and the whole place is filled with balloons and streamers and music and people and there’s free coffee and donuts. Then you think to yourself “Oh I get it. This is the grand opening.”

Anyways so welcome to the Grand Opening of the Great Unwashed. Please help yourself to the pastries, there’s lots, mostly because they’re imaginary so I suggest you try the banana- truffle oil ones, some people have been comparing them to the rotten egg Harry Potter jelly beans but I really like them. There are balloons too, but only in my mind, mostly because I only learned how to post words on the website and haven’t the remotest clue of how to do anything else.

At any rate, I’m delighted you came, please enjoy.