I Wish I Was Holly Madison and That Roscoe was a Really Old Man

So I was at home for three days because I needed to have the snow tires put on my truck and I was also taking my elderly grandmother to the ballet. Because I don’t drive ever, this precipitated a need for me to stay at my parents’ house for an extended period of time because I tend to spontaneously combust after driving for more than two hours in a day.

Even though Roscoe is well aware of the spontaneously combusting issue and thus is in full support of me staying with my parents, part of me still wished that he would say to me on one of my phone calls home “You’re going to surprise me by turning up for dinner aren’t you?” A la Hugh Hefner with Holly Madison when they were still together.

And then I realized that I was wishing that my husband was more like a wealthy octogenarian with multiple girlfriends. Which led to the other realization that not only did I want to be one of the many girlfriends of a wealthy octogenarian but I also wanted to be in a relationship that no longer existed. So not only was I setting feminists like Nelly McCloud back generations but I also apparently wanted to be in a doomed relationship.

So I stopped wishing that and instead just called Roscoe and told him I was going to take my Dad’s bookcase to PT’s (The second hand book dealer in the city that we take our books to in exchange for store credit.) And that my Dad may not have given me permission to do this and that he may not be happy about this.

P.S.  I was just told the famous suffragette’s name was actually Nellie McClung. Perhaps if she had taken my Granddad’s advice and worn some lipstick I would have remembered her name in the first place.

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